Things of note or things that are not

The roller coaster continues to roll.  It wends and weaves its way along the rails, faster, slower, up and down but I get the impression that someone is building the rails ahead of me and changing direction far faster than can be mapped out or viewed.

Life changes.  Life goes on.  Accidents happen or, perhaps, they're not accidents but you still have to stop, mop up the mess and move along.

There was a plan.  There were ideas and challenges and, ultimately, a plan.  And yet that plan has been changed.  Not by me, not by us but by business and I find myself with far too much time on my hands and nothing formulated to fill it other than writing about the time stretching ahead and the efforts I'm going to in order to find something permanent to fill the void.

Work has been a constant for nearly 30 years.  I don't know how to not work.  I don't know how to sit around and fill time, except for the odd weekend or holiday when time had an end and wasting a few hours here or there is nothing to worry about.

It's the ability to waste it now that is my biggest worry.

Doppelgänger

I saw you. You were on the train when I stepped through the door. Your face was turned away, but it was you.

Should I say hello, catch your eye or, perhaps, wait for the next train?

The doors closed, too late to make a decision. You moved, stretched, turned toward me.

It wasn't you. It was almost you.

I think I was disappointed.

Rocking to the end

The bottom has been reached.

Always that little bit closer than you'd like to imagine it could ever be but, nevertheless, there it is, patiently waiting for you to touch down.

It embraces you warmly, holds you tightly, welcoming as an old, if unwelcome friend.

We will spend some time together, him and me. Then I will reach up to the light and climb the stairs away from his company. For a while.

The bottom is less rocky than you imagine. It's just getting here that's so painful.

Rollercoaster

Up, down, around, spin, turn.  I feel sick.  I want to cry.  I should be the happiest a girl can ever be.  Instead another huge roadblock is thrown up in front and I'm left floating and flapping waiting for something to happen.


It will probably mean a huge hit on my finances, more delays and a total lack of ability to make any decisions other than when I can cry and not make a total fool of myself.


Who'd move house, hey?

Just when it was safe to go back in the water

There are days when it's all so utterly pointless.

And says when you have the bit between your teeth and god help anyone in your way.

Which was yours?

Today

It's all end of the weekend-ish. Sad, fighting, wishing tomorrow wasn't just another day.

Another day, another mortgage

Ding ding, seconds out, round whatever the hell it is we're up to now.

The question of whether we're doing the right thing seems to have become moot.

We're doing this thing and to hell with the consequences, perhaps?

I'm doing this. The kids are doing this. At least three of us are apparently looking forward to it.

And now the house has seemingly become houses. The first one is now tantalisingly within reach but remains imperfect. The 2nd is moving forwards but, is it 'the one'?

Does it even matter?

The wheels continue to turn and we shall move onwards and see where we end up.